Table setup Notes

Place Settings

Depending on circumstances, there are four ways to set a table for a meal. Place settings will naturally change depending upon the formality of the occasion. Levels of formality are good because they can distinguish certain day or events or mark out specific people for honor. Increasing the formality of a meal should not mean creating a staid and stuffy environment. Far from it, formal occasions should have a festive air and should be moments to be remembered, weddings, anniversaries, coming of age events (going to college or the military) or even wakes.
Some families like to dine at least informally or semi-formally on a weekly or even daily basis. Yet, the most common dining experience is casual. In this the place settings are brief and practical. Only the utensils necessary to the food being served are provided at table. Often family members are encouraged to procure their own utensils.
The informal setting has a degree of regularity to it and provides diners with the comfort of knowing what to expect. In this setting the plate is the center and other utensils radiate from it. Closest to the plate on the right is a butter knife, with the serated edge facing the plate and immediately to its right is a soup spoon. Curiously, the spoon is provided in spite of the fact that it is often unecessary for any of the dishes served. To the left of the plate are first the salad fork and then the standard fork. Above the point of the knife is the wine glass and to its left rests the water glass or goblet. The napkin is usually place on the plate, folded under the forks or even placed to the left of the forks. It is interesting to note that most Americans eat with their forks in their right hands so they have to reach across their plates to obtain their fork. However, in Europe the fork, where customs for setting the table originated, the fork is normally held in the left hand and the knife in the right.
Formal settings are merely an elaboration on the informal setting. They involve a service plate to accomodate salad. This plate is placed on top of the dinner plate and removed after the course comprising the salad. A separate plate for bread is also provided and possibly an additional glass should a more than one wine be served. Another feature of formal dining that may be either treacherous or enhancing to the evening, is the name card, designating the seating arrangements for the table. The name card should have a prominent position just above the dinner plate.
Less formal, but often far more convenient and expedient than the informal setting is the buffet form of serving. In this, the food is neither placed on the table nor served by wait staff. Instead, the food, and often the plates and utensils are provided at a table or counter and the diners are left to choose their own utensils, food and beverages. This manner of serving guests is often used when large numbers are to be present at a meal, especially if the event is to be informal. If your guests will not be eating from tables try not to serve dishes requiring the use of both hands such as slabs of meat. This can be the foundation for many spills and other minor disasters.
In choosing centerpieces, candles and other ornaments, stay away from decorations that will come between guests. People will find it uncomfortable craning their necks to see each other around huge bouquets or melting swans.
Utensils are ordered so that the outside utensils are used first. Note that the above setting is the European Style where the salad is eaten at the end. Americans will typically reverse the position of the salad and the standard fork

Seating Protocol

Knowing who is to sit where can often be a touchy business. Precedence at table can lead to hurt feelings and indignation among families as well as diplomats. Determining who is to sit at the grown-up's table and who is to sit with the kiddies may make the difference between an enjoyable evening and a few glowers from an already sulky teenager.
A handbook of precedence and protocol can be a handy tool when making the determination of who is to sit where if you happen to be hosting an official state function. Once you have determined who is of higher rank, then it is just a matter of placing people around a table. There are a few simple rules that apply to most situations:
1. When there is but a single table, the host and hostess usually sit at opposite ends, or occasionally in the center of the table facing each other. When multiple tables are needed, the host and hostess may be at separate tables in which case you may wish to opt for a co-host and co-hostess.
2. The highest ranking male generally sits to the right of the hostess. The wife of the highest ranking man or the highest ranking woman herself sits to the right of the host. The second ranking male will usually sit to the left of the hostess. Now the seating should be arranged such that no two women set side by side and no two men sit side by side. This will prove a dificult feat when the number of guests is evenly divisible by four, so try to avoid this possibility but should it happen, it is common to swap the spot of the hostess and the highest ranking male.
3. A rule that has all kinds of interesting psychological implications says that married people are never seated side by side, but those engaged are seated side by side whenever possible.
4. The ranks for various persons is determined by the President of the United States. The list is fairly long and complex and occasionally changes. It is kept on file at the State Department.
5. If you happen to be in the military, there is a good book to help you sort this kind of thing out, Service Etiquette by Oretha D. Swartz. It also covers other military social relationships. A handy book to have around when you may be hobnobbing with the brass.
When having over friends or family, the seating arrangement can still be important, and the above rules of precedence for formal occasions can be instructive. Try to seat people to best stimulate pleasant conversation and to facilitate the feeding of young children. This means not hemming young parents into corners where they can't quickly handle the inevitable emergency created by the three year olds.
Though appointing the seating for your guests may seem stuffy, it generally puts guests at ease. People like to know where the host wants them to sit and will often ask before being seated if the place they have chosen is all right. Name cards are not necessary, but can be fun. If a guest objects to the seating you have chosen, simply make a quick change.
For informal dining, it is wise to have the host in a seat close to the kitchen. Try to mix up family and friends so that spouses and cronies are not seated together. By mixing the company you will be fostoring new relationships and also facilitating conversation. Husbands and wives know each other so well that they often have little to say to each other that is appropriate at a dinner.
For large family gatherings it is often policy to put age groups together, the elder family members near the head of the table and the younger members at the opposite end or even at a separate table. This can make for lively dining conversation. However, mixing the age groups can also be interesting to a point. Those under the age of ten will not likely benefit from such a mixing. Teenagers, anxious to take their place among the adults yet still unsure of themselves, might find this alternative arrangement flattering and even stimulating.

Whatever you decide to do, choose your seating arrangment with care as at larger dinner parties it can make a difference. 

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